Horses, Pagans and Compassion Fatigue

This blog goes quite an awful lot, no matter how many of us there are. It certainly is not because there isn't a wealth of horror being done to horses to talk about. Instead, for me, I can't speak for the others, it's perhaps just the opposite.

I have been advocating for horses for decades. We've gained, but we lose. We end horse slaughter houses (for human consumption) in the US, others try to get them going somewhere else...meanwhile horse slaughter continues even in states, such as NJ, which have bills against allowing it for human consumption, because it's for animal feed.. Again, wild horses and burros are being rounded up, wrenched from their freedom, many dying as a result....many facing years of torture or slaughter. We find ourselves in a constant battle. And the move that might change everything, to end transportation of horses for slaughter completely...and require a change in the "throw away" and over-breeding mentality of the horse industry, keeps dying in committee Time is running out, for the current bill S. 541/H.R. 1094—The Safeguard American Food Exports (SAFE) Act.  Over and over and over....

So over and over and over...I am hit with Compassion/Activism Fatigue.  When it's coupled with personal loss, as it often has been for me, it can become crippling. I can't advocate for the horses effectively. At this Pagans I was trying to be friendly with go out and kill horses for selfish reasons pretending it somehow honors a Mare Goddess and realizing that some of my "friends" were supporters of another Pagan who makes her living off of unethically sourced animal parts, including "pony skins" and horse ears I had to pull away from those people, although I did fool myself that one person's excuses actually was saying she was going to honor my pain and separate from the horse and wolf killer she was connected to ....I realized my foolishness since.

point I haven't had a decent night of sleep in over a year. As the issue hit closer to home with 

Part of the reason activists for horses become so fatigued isn't just the vile assholes who participate in the killing. It's all the people who claim to be against it, but see no reason to bother with it. When one of the horse killers went begging money from the Pagan community, I witnessed many who claimed they hated what she had done but had to support her because somehow this project she hasn't done yet was so important to them. So, you know, who the fuck cares about the horses? 

It gets to the point where I don't care either. Why should I?  I can't safe them all. We'll never save them all. This bill will never go through, people will continue to happily torture and kill horses, others will accept it and even celebrate how cool they are....  No one cares....why should I?

Of course, I do. I care too much. I have no choice, I have oaths.

I have made more moves to distance myself from people who support this in anyway...including those who say they don't but continue to associate with the horse killers. I have also had to break ties with someone who probably could have helped me a lot on my own project, due to their help to the horse eater...it would break my oaths to have this work, especially, touched by that (I hope I am not tainting it by using their writings for research, it is something I am currently struggling over). I have had to remove people I thought were friends (one of whom might also have been helpful to my project...but again...I can't have it touched and again must reconsider any use of what they helped me with...which is a huge problem for me) because they did not respect the pain that such associations cause me...including people who make a lot of noise about the importance of such things (but apparently, feeling it for horses, wolves and other animals isn't valid). 

But I find I can do and write little to advocate for the horses at this time. I try to pass thins along, I sign petitions, I have made phone calls to my Congresscritters who are, thankfully, pretty good on these issues (yes, even her, on this). And I take care of my little herd...all who could have ended up in a bad way (but, honestly, not having had real sleep for so long...how much I actually do with them is limited). 

Certainly other activists manage while witnessing even more than I have. We each have different breaking points. And sometimes we can step back and find our ways to cope and sometimes that's from the horses themselves.  I am hoping that again removing people who bring this toxin closer to me and by writing about it will help. I do know, from experience, that I will again end up with people in my life who bring the issue too close for comfort, there are simply too many who just do not care enough and, well, that is why this fatigue happens, why cynicism and extreme distrust are part of this. I will keep fighting, but sometimes will just be quieter about it.

Sharing: "Food, Ethics, Sacrifice" from Finnchuill's Mast

"I hadn’t planned to join the polytheist month of silence, but it kind of worked out that way. But an incident has come to my attention that I feel is very important to speak out on.

The ethics of food should be an important element in any religious considerations, but even more so for any pagan or earth-respecting traditions. As embodied organisms we all have to eat, and from an animist perspective that means we have to eat someone. So how does one do that in an ethical manner? Indigenous hunter-gatherer cultures are rich places to look and one can find numerous ways these cultures saw the exchange of lives as one of mutual giving and taking. But the taking of life was not one lacking in consequence."

 Please read the rest of this wonderful response to the recent horse eating horror. "Food, Ethics, Sacrifice"  

I am glad to see others speaking out on this!

"You will never understand the true meaning of sacrifice"*

I've neglected this blog and I found myself alone working on it. Now that I no longer am, I hope to also post more often.

Meanwhile, anyone reading this probably is well aware that there has been a lot going on regarding horse slaughter in the US.  From a crazy slaughter house worker posting videos of himself shooting a horse, to state laws allowing slaughter being passed, to state laws banning horse slaughter being passed, to battles with whether inspection must be allowed, to the Agricultural Appropriations FY2014 getting through both the Senate and the House committee votes with amendments banning inspection, to S. 541/H.R. 1094—The Safeguard American Food Exports (SAFE) Act getting more co-sponsors in both Senate and House. Both bills have a ways to go yet, so please do not be shy about contacting your Senators and Representatives to make sure they stand for the horses (or to thank them if  they're already on it!...never forget to thank them when they're already doing it).

What I'm here to post about now, however, is back on the whole  Pagans Ate Horses Thing  ...yet AGAIN! And this time more closely associated with my personal path, with Macha and Her Sister and involves people I had mistakenly tried to be friendly allies with. A lot of those who focus on eating horse meat are Heathens and there is evidence for it not being uncommon among early Germanic peoples, but it seems that despite the obvious rarity of it among the Celts that some who claim Celtic practice (even if actually very eclectic...which was always a problem I had but, yeah, try to be friendly and open and what do you get....) seem to believe it's something they should bring back.  Even if it never, you know, was a thing (but, again, there is a lot of holes in their poor research).

I'm debating putting the link here, at this point I won't...if people ask I may add it later. I don't want to add to this group's publicity. 

I am  not opposed to ritual sacrifice of food animals, but do feel it needs to be only food animals. Animals that you eat already. I raise chickens and I do make the killing of our meat birds a sacred act.  The very nature of what makes something a sacrifice is that it is done in a sacred manner and humanely, by us.

It is not a sacrifice if the animal is slaughtered at a commercial slaughterhouse.  Especially when the animal is tortured, which horses are as, despite lies told by some, it's impossible to humanely kill a horse in these hell houses. And a Canadian horse advocate has confirmed on my Flying with the Hooded Crow FB page that in the Providence this group was in, it's the only way to legally kill horses.

Are companion animals "fair game" for sacrifice?  I do think it would be a very bad precedent.  After all, if it become acceptable with one companion animal, horses, then why not others such as dogs and cats.  There is perhaps more evidence of dog eating  in Celtic culture than for horses. We also have the "chewing the raw meat of a pig, dog or cat" as part of the formula for inducing imbas; perhaps given how scary the idea of raw pork is some might think it safer to go with dog or cat.  How many in this group would have participated in the ritual killing of one of their dogs and sat down to feast on it, which given an Morrùgan's canine associations makes as much sense as eating a horse to "honor" a Horse Goddess.

And at least if it was one of their dogs, it would be theirs. Making it actually more of a sacrifice.  At no point in their post or their blather on my FB page, did either woman mention that she raised the horse with honor, deep care, as a true votive animal before sacrificing her/him. At no point did they say why this was a sacrifice.

Because it wasn't. Feeling a little "torn up" because an animal species is your "power animal" is not the same as holding an animal you raised with love from infancy and offering up her life.  It isn't actually giving up a damn thing! It's just taking a life. But don't get me wrong, I'm not remotely condoning actually killing your pets for sacrifice. But don't kill someone else's former pet either!

If you want to discuss animals and sacrifice, you have to start with caring for the votive animal. This, of course, becomes the actual sacrifice.  It can entail moving to a location which is better for the animals but might separate you from friends, career and other conveniences.  Giving up your lifestyle, concerts, parties, various activities. You may find yourself out at 2 am in -40 degree F weather walking a colicing horse. You

might find yourself melting in 90 degree weather with extreme humidity trying to cool that same horse, again colicing six months later.  It may mean losing friends because they have no interest in that which has taken over your life....or, should you be dedicated to stopping slaughter, because you realize they support it in one way or another and are too loathsome to want in your life. Certainly, life not dedicated to caring for horses as a sacred task is easier.

Eating a dish of meat from an animal you did not know and that someone else killed, no matter how much  you tell yourself it was "ethically" done, is not a sacrifice. It's taking, not giving. To do so in the name of a Horse Goddess, well, really, is it Pagans who are supposed to eat their Gods?  Seems that's someone else. Not to mention all those medications that make their meat unsafe for human consumption. So claiming it's also to over come "health issues," well, OOPS!  Have fun being poisoned for your health then.

As a dedicant of the War Goddesses, Badb, Macha and the Morrígan, I feel I can also address certain other issues. Like "the Morrígan told me to do it" and what we might find ourselves asked to do. There are, of course, Pagans who clearly feel that if a God/dess demands it we must do it.  Perhaps there are some Gods this is true of, again, the Christian seems to operate this way according to some. Oh, wait, not always....seems there was some guy named Abraham who found himself rather conflicted.

Actually, an Morrígan, who, despite it being written late and by those who may not have fully understood it, we do have some story about how She interacted with a dedicant. Because that is clearly what Cú Chuainn is, when the stories are read from a warrior's perspective. But as those in question, along with an apparent majority of Pagans, have otherwise shown themselves to be unable to understand those stories by claiming She punished Cú Chulainn for rejecting Her, this is often lost.

But, no, think about what the sexual advances of a Sovereignty Goddess means, if you can get away from self-centered concepts "sovereignty."  It means easy victory.  If he accepted this he would have gotten that, his glory forever lost, he may have lived a longer life with no fame, She'd have turned Her back to him. Instead he chose, as he had as a child, the fame and She aided him by Herself raising odds against him in battle. What you, a non-warrior, think is a reward is punishment to one such as he was.   (I already have a post planned, it will be awhile yet, for my warrior blog which will include more discussion about this and it's already discussed in an article I have awaiting publication.)

 So, if we choose to accept that this woman was told by the Morrígan or Macha to eat horse meat, her blind obedience, when she says she was conflicted, sounds like a seriously failed test.  To go against what you claim is your nature in service to a War Goddess is truly an insult to Her. This is a Goddess who challenges and expects to be challenged. We do not worship her on our knees and go against our values to do so. Therefore I do hope that these people, who also think She possess them yet somehow She is unable to pronounce Her title correctly for them, are just delusional.  Otherwise, they are surely lost.

As I have seen others become loss. They often do not know it, but others watch them stumble and play act. It's sad.

We do not worship a Horse Goddess by eating horses! It's utterly insane. We worship by sacrificing ourselves to care for and defend Her children. And we will speak against those who are so warped and twisted that they kill what is sacred!

*quote from the Wicker Man (original)

That Pagans Ate Horses Thing... Again!

In midst of the on going battle, the publicity of the European horse meat findings and the Oklahoma horse slaughter laws and following year which saw a new rise in US horses being slaughtered. Medievalist.net published a post about how Christians reviled horse meat as "pagan food."   This link has been going around the Pagan and Heathen social networks, often without real commentary from those posting it.

Fortunately, many comments I've seen (but it might have to do with the sort of people I choose to associate with and actually pay attention to) have been "well, yeah, whatever, I have plenty of reason to not eat horse meat all the same, thank you." (okay, not all are so politely put)  However, the people Lysippe has posted about before, well, eat this sort of thing up and are promoting this post as an excuse to start bringing up eating horse meat as a ancient Heathen practice and promote horse slaughter.Some others fall in between, mostly I think because for growing number of people horses are ideas, not animals. Maybe they even saw one once, but the fact that these are living beings who humans have had an interrelationships with for tens of thousands of years is just not real to them.

The Medieval.net post is, of course, specific to Anglo-Saxon England, of course. While I have some knowledge of Norse and Germanic practices, and there does seem to have been a good deal of horse eating there, I have a stronger background in the Celtic cultures. There is evidence of horse eating among the Pre-Christian Celts as well, although it is sparse and seems to have only been during specific rituals, not as part of the regular diet. It also is often in conjunction with ritual dog eating. (see for example, Miranda Green, Celtic Myths, University of Texas Press, 1993, pg. 61) I don't see a lot of people calling for the return of eating dogs to prove how Pagan they are.  Of course, our Pagan ancestors also did human sacrifice and took heads. There are just simply things we don't need to bring back.

There's a serious disconnect with the concept of eating horse meat as a sacred act and horse slaughter that those who are all happy about horse killing are not getting. Namely the sacred part. Our relationship with the horse has changed, we no longer depend on them, the way these people are thinking of killing them is far closer to Slaughterhouse Sue than the ancients would have. To kill a horse during the Iron Age would have meant killing a lifeline. It would not  have been taken lightly.

Even when these would be horse "sacrificers" talk about doing it themselves (because they don't understand the laws being discussed, to begin with) they show this great disconnect. In a friend's FB post awhile back one such person was going on about how "as soon as it was legal" he was going to buy a horse and kill "it." He actually made it quite clear, he wasn't going to have anything else to do with the horse. He'd just buy "it" and kill "it." Disassociated and cowardly.  But then others who know that the law is about slaughterhouses, about strangers running horses through chutes, cutting them up while they're still alive and awake, where they don't have too actually see it done, feel that that's just dandy way to get their "sacred meat." 

If you really want to honor the our ancestors' relationship with horses, you need to start with the actual relationship.  You need to start with caring for the animal, communicating with him or her. We need to start by creating the sacred relationship.Honor the Horse Goddesses by taking care of the horses. And there is no reason to move towards killing the animal to prove anything. But until an actual sacred bond is made, if you want to make an excuse to joyfully kill someone's pet that you bought with a lie, the remember that deep down some of us really want to bring back headhunting.


If eating someone's pet doesn't trigger any ethical response in you, do consider that you'll be eating a poisoned pet. We all routinely give medications which permanently make our horses unsafe for human consumption. Some of us who prefer to use more natural methods will at least sometimes opt for those poisons just for this reason. But most horse owners do not look for alternatives, anyway, the odds are high. You're looking at huge increase in cancer risk as well as an incurable blood disease. All so you can feel speshul.

Honestly, I wish I could be more eloquent on this, more persuasive, but the fact that there are people having a fucking happy dance over the idea of killing horses as some sort of proof of their Pagan status make me sick and furious beyond words. Literally beyond words. I'm not any happier seeing Christians use this ancient history to further revile us...and the two together are some sort of sick joke. So any Pagan posting on this and not taking a strong stand that we do not want to bring horse eating back is beneath contempt to me as well. Our horses are being tortured, if you don't stand against it, you're a part of their suffering.

Warriors for the Horse Goddess

This article isn't here, as it's rather long for a blog post and I wanted a permanent home for it. It was originally written to submit to an anthology, but the anthology is not being published so I decided to go ahead.  I think that the message of how important defending horses from slaughter and abuse is needs to get out there as much as possible. It is also a sort of experimental piece for me, intersecting my own journey back to horses through Macha with information both on historical/literary Horse Goddesses and the political reality.

Warriors for the Horse Goddess 

 

Horse racing at Lughnasadh

 Seriously, stop spamming this with race wagering sites! This is an anti-racing post, so that's just insane! Stop!

As we approach the Gaelic holiday of Lughnasadh or Lùnasdal, one of the things that comes up is the association of the holiday with horse races.  The key event at this time was the assembly known as "óenach" which is glossed as "a contention of horses" and included swimming and racing the horses (Patterson pg 144, O'Donovan, pg. 127-128). These events probably were centered around people proving their horse stock, for sale or prestige, and in Ireland fairs held at this time, such as The Puck Fair, still involve horses. One famous horse race in Ireland was during Conchobar's assembly where Macha was forced to prove her husband's boast that his wife could outrun the king's horses.(The Metrical Dindshenchas (English) Irish). Horses were an important part of the culture, so horses as an important part of such events is not surprising.

Through the past couple of decades I have seen several Celtic Polytheists of various types suggest that this connection means that attending modern, professional horse races is a way to relive those old assemblies. I have even seen it suggested that this in some way honors the Horse Goddess. This concept troubles me deeply, for while it may not be on the same level as those who suggest eating horse meat the reality is there that, if nothing else, going to races supports an industry that routinely slaughters horses and use nurse mares whose own foals are killed at birth for "pony skins."

Explain to me how that is honoring a Horse Goddess? I suppose it replicates the horror that Macha and her twins suffered but do you want to be on that side of it? There are other ways.

Never mind that the atmosphere at these events is far from that of an ancient gathering.  

Saorsa has been practicing for

Obviously, not many Pagans have their own horses to race for fun or to "unrace" (we have long joked that we have unraces, we just make sure to take time to just hang out and watch our horses be horses...however, we may be doing some run racing soon, including water races although Saorsa may be the only one willing to go in). To replicate these horse races what can one who doesn't have their own horses do?

Personally, I favor taking time to volunteer at a horse rescue. Lughnasadh is often a time when hay is coming in, but help is needed in all situations by most rescues. If you can't volunteer, consider taking up a collection for a local rescue. Many Pagan groups today collect food or other items for charity when they gather, why not do so for horses. Perhaps even towards an ex-racer and/or nurse mare foal focused group?  Perhaps also take time to write to your congress people and try to end horse slaughter.

Consider attending county fairs. While I'm not crazy about either showing or racing at all, the level at fairs is far different from professional race tracks especially at the smaller fairs. Please consider still making that donation and writing those letters, as some of the horses in the show ring will end up in rescue or on the road to slaughter too.

Of course, for your own games I know many groups who do hobby horse races.  Often there are kid races where most of the kids old enough to walk think it's totally uncool and adult races where the adults have a blast proving to their kids how uncool they are. It brings "the horses" home. And make those donations and write those letters just because it needs doing.

If you want to honor the Horse Goddesses, save the horses. If you want to have a feel of ancient times by being around horses be around horses that need you. Do not think for a moment that there is anything but corruption at the race track or that it's somehow holy. The horses deserve better, the Horse Goddesses certainly do.

Nerys Patterson. Cattle Lords & Clansmen: The Social Structure of Early Ireland, Notre Dame, IN: University of Notre Dame, 1994

 John O'Donovan, ed. and trans. (with notes and translations from Whitley Stokes) Sanas Cormaic Calcutta: O. T. Cutter for the Irish Archeological and Celtic Society, 1868,

Picking things up

A couple of Pagan horses enjoying the summer

We have changed our blog title again. We had initially intended to keep this "religion neutral" but have decided to fully approach this as the Heathens we are.  We think this is important in light of several things some of which were addressed in Heathen Against Horse Slaughter. Lysippe didn't address all of the issues, however, that relate between Pagan and Heathen ways and horse issue. She only just touched upon the accusations made that recent spats of horse attacks which range from merely cutting the manes to horrible physical mutilations and killings which are inexplicably blamed on Pagans, Witches or Satanists (which are jumbled together, of course).   Well, maybe it's not so inexplicable, it's really just a new face of old Satanic Panic.

So we may be covering more about these issues too. Which may be a mistake as we often feel overwhelmed by how much is going on that endangers horses already that we barely post at all.

And there is a lot. Look to the side bar, others are doing a better job of keeping up (even though they may be rather ill informed about how the American political system works, they are keeping up on the events of horrific BLM round-ups, attempts to start horse slaughter plants and some, sometimes confused, information the status of various bills). I am hoping we'll be posting more here now. Some tension has been alleviated by cutting back on the number of bloggers (what with one never blogging but probably having a different perspective on things which made us a bit worried about alienating that person).

But right now I want to take a stance that I we are Heathens who love horses, who are against horse slaughter and also the various other atrocities (some which are socially acceptable) perpetuated against horses. We're against treating horses as commodities rather than the complex sentient beings that we owe a great deal too (only the dog, and we're dog lovers too, compares when we think of how much our society has depended on partnership with animals).

Heathen Against Horse Slaughter

This is what I am, a Pagan against horse slaughter, a SARMATIAN focused one at that. That means that, yes, I actually am reconstructing, as best I can, from a culture which sacrificed and ate horses.

I use "Heathen" in the title for a specific reason even  though I seldom use it instead of Pagan, for it's among Norse practitioners where we seem to see people talking about "reclaiming old ways" by eating horse meat. This is NOT to say that all Heathens feel this way, but I have seen this more from Heathens than other Pagans. There are a few PIE (Proto-Indo-European) types who do as well, although from that corner there seems to be more symbolic "horse sacrifice."

And a friend recently noticed a Heathen publication, Hex Magazine issue 4, ran a horse meat article, calling again for "returning to old ways" by eating horses.  And they still have readers. It's so disgusting to me. So while many Heathens might never want to eat horse meat themselves, it seems enough are able to turn a blind eye and keep supporting a magazine which promotes horse slaughter.

Here's where I'm at. The people of the Steppes were the first horse people, they did first herd horses for food, milk, and meat. There was a true sacrament in this, a true sacrifice in the "making sacred" meaning. They traveled the Steppes with the herds, which lived as horses should, nearly wild and free-roaming. This isn't, actually, all in the past tense, there are many horse people still on the Steppes for all that other cultures have over taken those ways quite a bit. The horses and people are still as free-roaming as those other cultures give them space for. Many still eat horses. They're not Pagan any longer, but their horse probably don't know the difference. They still RESPECT the horse and all the animal has meant for their survival, some of these horses might end up eaten but they never know the hell of the slaughter chutes, the torture of the feedlots, or the horror of double-decker trailers.

I can respect their way of life. I do not live it. I do not live the life of the Pagan Sarmatians either. I do live with horses, all rescues. I live in a country where horse slaughter is done in immensely inhumane ways, horses are in terror and pain going into the chutes, they are in utter agony when they are rendered alive because the bolts do not kill horses. EVER.  We hide this from our eyes, breeders use it to get rid of excess foals, the racing industry to get rid of retired racers, many owners to get rid of "aged" (that would be four years old) retired performance horses. The latter two are all treated with 'bute, poisoning those eating them, too. These horses are not treated as sacred, they are not honored, they are not living free and half wild, they are not killed quick and humanely.

They are treated like trash.

I would no more eat horses than I would own slaves. There are things we are NOT reconstructing. These are two of them. I know of no Heathens or Pagans who would suggest returning to human sacrifice, slavery, or even the sorts of class systems. We do not need to return to eating horses.

If one were, I challenge them to live as I do. With a small herd of horses who depend on you, who you care for daily, who trust you, and who seek your attention and love. Can you do it then? I actually do raise other animals for food, the difference between what my horses seek from me and what the sheep, pigs, and chickens do is tremendous. The cats want less to do with me, only the dogs out do the horses in bonding.

Many Christian horse advocates actually will note that eating horses is "heathen" or "pagan" and that Christianity should have brought an end to it and did in some parts of Europe. This is, in some places, this was true. There are currently accusations that horrible acts of violence and slaughter happening in Britain are done by "Pagans." I highly doubt that is who is doing it, rather this is just a very sick person or people. We do NOT need actual Pagans and Heathens even just talking about eating horses when the reality of what they are talking about is participating in the most horrifically cruel corporate slaughter that can be imagined.

So this Pagan, following a horse culture, does NOT eat horses, does NOT support horse slaughter, DOES spiritually honor the horses, DOES do what she can to rescue horses from both abuse and slaughter, and WILL fight an end to the slaughter of our horses. I ask other Pagans and Heathens to pledge likewise!