Horses, Pagans and Compassion Fatigue

This blog goes quite an awful lot, no matter how many of us there are. It certainly is not because there isn't a wealth of horror being done to horses to talk about. Instead, for me, I can't speak for the others, it's perhaps just the opposite.

I have been advocating for horses for decades. We've gained, but we lose. We end horse slaughter houses (for human consumption) in the US, others try to get them going somewhere else...meanwhile horse slaughter continues even in states, such as NJ, which have bills against allowing it for human consumption, because it's for animal feed.. Again, wild horses and burros are being rounded up, wrenched from their freedom, many dying as a result....many facing years of torture or slaughter. We find ourselves in a constant battle. And the move that might change everything, to end transportation of horses for slaughter completely...and require a change in the "throw away" and over-breeding mentality of the horse industry, keeps dying in committee Time is running out, for the current bill S. 541/H.R. 1094—The Safeguard American Food Exports (SAFE) Act.  Over and over and over....

So over and over and over...I am hit with Compassion/Activism Fatigue.  When it's coupled with personal loss, as it often has been for me, it can become crippling. I can't advocate for the horses effectively. At this Pagans I was trying to be friendly with go out and kill horses for selfish reasons pretending it somehow honors a Mare Goddess and realizing that some of my "friends" were supporters of another Pagan who makes her living off of unethically sourced animal parts, including "pony skins" and horse ears I had to pull away from those people, although I did fool myself that one person's excuses actually was saying she was going to honor my pain and separate from the horse and wolf killer she was connected to ....I realized my foolishness since.

point I haven't had a decent night of sleep in over a year. As the issue hit closer to home with 

Part of the reason activists for horses become so fatigued isn't just the vile assholes who participate in the killing. It's all the people who claim to be against it, but see no reason to bother with it. When one of the horse killers went begging money from the Pagan community, I witnessed many who claimed they hated what she had done but had to support her because somehow this project she hasn't done yet was so important to them. So, you know, who the fuck cares about the horses? 

It gets to the point where I don't care either. Why should I?  I can't safe them all. We'll never save them all. This bill will never go through, people will continue to happily torture and kill horses, others will accept it and even celebrate how cool they are....  No one cares....why should I?

Of course, I do. I care too much. I have no choice, I have oaths.

I have made more moves to distance myself from people who support this in anyway...including those who say they don't but continue to associate with the horse killers. I have also had to break ties with someone who probably could have helped me a lot on my own project, due to their help to the horse eater...it would break my oaths to have this work, especially, touched by that (I hope I am not tainting it by using their writings for research, it is something I am currently struggling over). I have had to remove people I thought were friends (one of whom might also have been helpful to my project...but again...I can't have it touched and again must reconsider any use of what they helped me with...which is a huge problem for me) because they did not respect the pain that such associations cause me...including people who make a lot of noise about the importance of such things (but apparently, feeling it for horses, wolves and other animals isn't valid). 

But I find I can do and write little to advocate for the horses at this time. I try to pass thins along, I sign petitions, I have made phone calls to my Congresscritters who are, thankfully, pretty good on these issues (yes, even her, on this). And I take care of my little herd...all who could have ended up in a bad way (but, honestly, not having had real sleep for so long...how much I actually do with them is limited). 

Certainly other activists manage while witnessing even more than I have. We each have different breaking points. And sometimes we can step back and find our ways to cope and sometimes that's from the horses themselves.  I am hoping that again removing people who bring this toxin closer to me and by writing about it will help. I do know, from experience, that I will again end up with people in my life who bring the issue too close for comfort, there are simply too many who just do not care enough and, well, that is why this fatigue happens, why cynicism and extreme distrust are part of this. I will keep fighting, but sometimes will just be quieter about it.

An admittedly scathing rant

I'd rather be putting up actual information here about how things work, but honestly, I have a lot on my plate, including my own horses. And I shouldn't have to,  you went through junior high and high school, right? Then you should have some clue. Stop watching FauxNews and maybe you'd know how the government worked and not need it explained. But as I know that the comment I made will not be published and if it is it will just get overrun with FauxNews inspired twisting, I need to get this off my chest.

I am horrified that there are horse advocates who think Romney, who put his own dog on the roof of the car and drove to Canada, will be a better horse president because his wife is into horses as a therapy tool and for prestige of having a Olympic level competitor. Oh, never mind that it was Republicans who snuck the inspection ban out of that bill....the President signed it so "he's got an agenda to kill horses!!11eleventyone"

Never mind that the majority of those politicians who want to stop horse slaughter are Democrats while all of the politicians who want it back are republican. Our President isn't making horses the ONLY issue so we're going to put a known horse abuser into the office! Let's elect more Republicans that'll show Obama....never mind that it will bring horse slaughter full throttle into the US again.

This twisted, sick thinking has become so prevalent in this movement that I have really been having trouble working with anyone in it. There's so much misplaced anger and useless and totally ignorant political ranting instead of any real efforts being made to work with the mostly Democratic Congress members who are working on stopping horse slaughter. It's all about replacing Obama with a Republican while ignoring that it's Republican Congress members who are fighting to get slaughter happening here and to stop the transportation for slaughter bans.

As I said above, I suppose it would be more appropriate to put up the voting stats and such shit but I have chores to do. And I shouldn't have to, it's all pretty obvious if these people weren't so stuck on their "we want things done now for us and no one but us or we're going to go vote for the people who will make things worse!!!! That'll show you! WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!"

Of course, this isn't the only issue that people are acting like that. If the President doesn't act as a fucking dictator for what we want then we will replace him with someone who will act as a dictator against us. What the fuck is wrong with people?

I know this is no accident. The Republicans have been playing game all along. They pull this shit, then the people blindly blame the President. It's the same with economy (which is killing horses too, BTW). At the moment I'm very dismayed at my fellow country people. If the Republicans win this one, we're fucked...and so are the horses.

So this is why I feel hopeless, why I feel I can't work with the people who rather than fighting for horses are just spouting pointless hate. Yeah, this too is probably pointless. Until people in general get with a fucking program to actually do something it really is all just pointless.

Are YOU willing to fucking do something?

I'm disgusted. There has been so much loss of late for the horses. The greed of those making a profit off of horse death, either by their own participation or by taking money from those who want it, is sickening in itself. But so is the fucking apathy of those not involved. Including many horse owners.

I am facing the fact that the general public doesn't give a fuck about horses. Doesn't care about their suffering. Just doesn't care. Oh, I know a few who do, but I don't see them doing a lot. For the kittehs and puppehs sure, pass everything along on FB, sign petitions, write-write-write. But I see nothing happening except by a handful when it comes to horses.

Of course, there are more who just seriously think it's okay. People who gladly would eat horse meat. Who don't even care that even if you do think horses should be killed in a torturous manner their meat is poison due to medications given to them. At least those assholes I can get out of my life. If I broke contact with all the apathetic I'd not have many people to speak with. But sometimes I think about it.

There are 3 followers to this blog through Blogger....2 of them are writers for it. There are 11 via FB/NetworkBlog, including the 3 of us. That's it. This blog has existed for a year and has a total of 237 hits.....which include ours.

You say "but you don't write much, it's you're fault." Well, we don't. I've been fighting this issue for 20 years, I"m burned out. I can't speak for Lysippe or Jo, but they've been on it a long time too and I'm sure have some degree of burn out. Burn out, is, a big problem in this movement. Because it's been so fucking long.

We got that bit of victory, Congress removed funding for inspections for slaughtering horses and the last two states, Texas and Illinois, who had foreign-owned horse slaughterhouses outlawed them. Horse slaughter ended in the US. Meanwhile, we couldn't get a single step on the American Horse Protection Acts to stop horses from being slaughtered in the US should the funding be returned OR be taken, as horses continue to be, to Canada and Mexico. Slaughter continued.

NOW, just this week, the funding for horse slaughter has been returned. The horse haters are dancing in joy, because their paid off Congress members have listened to them and not their constituents. Jerry Finch speaks of this and the frustration involved here “Which means more to you – love or money?”

But, really, while we talk about all our letter writing and all, how many of you out there really did it. Oh, wait you're not fucking reading this either, are you. You just don't want to think about it.

I wish I could do that. But I lost due to this, I loved horses some assholes in France or Belgium or Japan ate. The gelding, Midnight, in this photo was one of them. I hope everyone who hate him and Trouble, his sister, got cancer from the bute those horses were on. Oh, and they were on it. I hope they suffered miserably and died hard and scared. Because my horses died hard and scared, rendered while still alive and regaining consciousness. Because that's what horse slaughter is like. EVERY TIME.

And so, horse slaughter is now again legal in the US. And there is, again, no movement on the law that would end it in total. Not just end it here, but also any transportation anywhere to kill the horses.

Do you really care? Are you fucking reading this? Did you do ANYTHING? Seriously, are you telling your Senators and Representatives to get moving on and pass The American Horse Slaughter Prevention Act. Senate Bill S727 and House Bill HR 2966?

Two days ago, we who signed White House "We the People" (what a joke) petition to “Protect Wild Horses and Burros; Reform Inhumane Interior Department Management Program That Wastes Tax Dollars” got a response. NOT from the White House administration, the one of the President who proclaimed he's protect horses in his campaign, no. We got a canned response from BLM Director Bob Abbey, the very man we were calling to get managed. The response was all the same lies and bullshit that we could find on his website. Lies about the environmental impact of wild equines, the need for roundups, the "humanity" of round ups that traumatize horses, kill horses and separate not only herds but foals from mothers.

But, you know, I'm sure that the numbers who signed weren't enough for them to really see any reason to act. After all,l the cattle farmers want to graze that land and that's where the money is. We The People do not matter...especially when so few of us actually signed.

Unless we can really get people do want to do something about this it will remain a small group of burned out people. We will lose towards the even smaller but moneyed Horse Haters, which includes not only those hoping to make money by doing business with the foreign horse meat interests but also breed associations who chose to overbreed rather than breed for quality, glutting the market.

It's time to stop this. But if we're only talking to ourselves, we don't stand a fucking chance.

Wyoming Horse Killers trying again

Rep. Cynthia Lummis of Wyoming is attempting to again get the language forbidding the inspection of horse slaughter plants in the US removed. This apparently goes to vote on WEDNESDAY! Tomorrow!

Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.) is a leading voice in fighting this, so PLEASE contact your Representatives TODAY June 14, 2011, to tell them you do not want horse slaughter allowed. See US should get out of the horse meat business

The Compassion Index is working again!

Why I'm against horse slaughter

I recently was asked this on FaceBook, the person, a meat eater, wondering how I as a meat eater could be so vehement about the eating of horses when I ate other animals. That he had ignored what I had already written, that he had ignored my statement that anyone who supported horse slaughter should remove themselves from my friends list, that it wasn't something I discussed politely, of course sent me off. It ISN'T something I discuss politely. (mind you, a similar question from a vegetarian would have simply been "read what I wrote already" but this person supports horse slaughter, that...well...)

What I had written, after another "friend" had attacked me on his on FB and was removed from my flist and life (both these people were people I had met at least once) and was ignored was:

Seriously, any hint of supporting the slaughter of horses is a serious deal breaker with me. This is just something you're going to have to realize. So, fuck off if you're okay with it.

See the mare in my profile photo (here she is to the left, also on the side bar with a buddy when I went to pick her up)? Her name is Saorsa. She was destined for the feedlots. This is what happens to PMU foals and those from outfits that breed for quantity over quality, most go to slaughter, spending six months in crowded pens being stuffed with grain.

See the two horses in this photo (that would be to the right)? That's Midnight and Trouble. They were sold to slaughter by their owner, when I was trying to get up the money to buy them. He didn't want to be troubled with waiting, it was a quick if smaller buck. And he'd sent many, because he used to run an quantity rather than quality breeding outfit. I didn't know it as a kid, now I do.

Midnight was the best damn trail horse in the world. Ever. He had the worst trot, but he'd go anywhere, wasn't afraid of a thing. The sort of horse that you could track a bear with if you happened to want to track a bear. He was run through a chute, scared out of his mind! After a lifetime of trusting and loving people.

We do NOT eat horses in the US, we send them out of sight out of mind. And if you think this is okay, you can go fuck yourself.

Followed, in the comments:

Note, I also do not believe in factory farming of meat animals, period. NO animal should be in a small pen force fed grain until a traumatic run through chutes. This is why I am a localvore. Any animal that is raised for food should be raised humanely and sustainably.

When thinking about it, that truly answered his question completely. The horses slaughtered in this country are not slaughtered either humanely or for local consumption. They are not raised humanely as livestock, some are, truly, not treated humanely to begin with. Many show and racing horses have rather sad lives, before being shipped off when no longer in their prime (which is hardly old or broken down, we're talking usually under 10 years old....but much older in spirit).

Wild Horses are rounded up in horrific ways, with many horribly injured or killed, with those not caught separated from their herds which can lead to a slow lingering death. Some go to holding pens for years, before being sold for slaughter when "too old" to adopt. Often sickly, due to bad feeding practices as well as being in small, closed quarters. These round ups, coupled with other mismanagement, are wiping out the Mustang.

The AQHA and the APHA along with other breeding groups promote quantity over quality breeding because after all they can sell what won't sell as for riding horses as meat. And, hey, maybe they can make some extra cash in mare urine. These foals are sold through auction to feedlots, where they are kept in Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations (CAFO) for roughly 6 months until big enough to slaughter. That's where my Saorsa and her friend on the side there was headed.

Many people innocently sell horses they sort of love, but not enough to keep when they "out grow" them or "things are tough" (sorry things are tough for all of us, some of us will fight tooth and nail to see our animal cared for) and just fool themselves into thinking their horses won't go to slaughter. But a lot do, maybe from the hands of the dealer posing as a "good home" or maybe somewhere else along the line.

Most horses stolen go to slaughter. It's the quickest buck and the easiest way to get rid of the evidence.

None of these horses were raised as livestock, none of them were slaughtered humanely. I don't believe that commercial abattoirs are remotely humane, any more than I believe that CAFO is humane.

Now, I'm going to be honest, and I know Lysippe agrees with me but we might be a minority of two in this movement, but I have no issue with traditional people of the Steppes, the traditional peoples of Mongolia, Kazakhstan and that area, raising their horses traditionally and eating the meat and drinking the milk. Mind you, I would probably not be able to eat the horse meat even there, but their relationship with the horse is so very different than ours. It is a relationship that should be preserved, in fact. These horses are not in danger from these people, although the governments they are now under might offer danger...I won't get into that. When the people are allowed to do so, these horses are raised in conditions suited totally to just being horses, and they are not then rounded up with helicopters. There is a respect, no matter what religion the people may practice, there is an honoring. And it is a strong example of true localvorism.

I know some in this movement are staunch vegans who may not want to associate with me due to my believe we can raise animals humanely and sustainably. I know a lot of other meat eaters in the movement too. Including some cattle ranchers who are horrified by their colleagues who want to see the extermination of the Mustang so they can have more land for cattle.

Because horses in our country are not raised for meat. We do not practice a sustainable localvorism with them and few of us are so inclined. Many meat eaters do have animals they won't eat and animals they will; some for religious reasons, some for taste, some for just how we feel about them. Dogs, cats, horses....typically are not considered food in our country. Sometimes we totally consider something off limits to eat, as I do dogs, cats and horses. Sometimes there are animals I won't eat but have no problem with others eating, as long as they don't eat mine...right now, this is how I feel about goats which I have as pets but not livestock (and I do raise chickens as livestock, doing my best to give them happy lives, the goats I just can't).

This is just a reality. And this, relatively calm, posting is NOT what someone supporting horse slaughter is ever going to get from me. Perhaps at some point I will write more about the loss of Midnight and Trouble. But, right now, this is the best I can do. But get in my face and I'll tell you to fuck off. And that will end it. It might not make me the most effective warrior for the horses, but in many ways, that loss has affected me too much for any civility.